What to do After a Funeral Checklist
Understanding what to do after a funeral can lead to significant emotional support and closure. Engaging with family and friends regarding what to do after a funeral can be comforting.
What to do after a funeral? Is a question that is commonly asked. One of the most challenging things to ever occur to a person is losing a loved one, and knowing what to do when someone dies. The days leading up to the funeral are most often emotional. They come with a lot of planning, emotions, and support from family & friends. Knowing what to do after a funeral can be overwhelming. It’s important to understand what to do to help you cope.
After the funeral, most individuals feel lost and do not know what to do next. This detailed article aims to provide a clear step-by-step guide to what to do after a funeral.
Knowing what to do after a funeral includes reflecting on the deceased’s wishes. This reflection can guide you in making decisions that honour their memory.
Understanding what to do after a funeral helps in navigating through this difficult time. It can involve various steps, from organising memorials to taking care of the deceased’s estate. Each of these steps is important and can contribute to the healing process in the following days after a death.
What to do after a funeral
When considering what to do after a funeral, it’s wise to create a checklist, such as the different points mentioned in this article. This checklist can guide you through essential tasks that address both emotional and practical aspects of this difficult time some days after the funeral.
When reflecting on what to do after arranging a funeral, consider holding a wake. A wake allows family and colleagues to visit, reflect, and pay tribute to the deceased’s life.
Holding a wake
Holding a wake is a further chance to console one another, and is one of the first things that you may consider immediately after the funeral. While not mandatory, most households find that gathering together in an informal setting will allow them to relax and come to some degree of closure. Wakes can be arranged by the funeral director, or if organising yourself you could hold it at a variety of venues, from public houses (pubs), social clubs, church halls and sporting venues to name just a few.
Personalising the event
You can also choose to customise a wake according to the interests and life of the deceased. Some of the choices include:
- Display photos: Design a photographic tribute by putting up pictures and personal items that reflect the deceased’s life. They can be family photos, travel mementoes, or those that reflect hobbies and interests.
- Favourite foods: Offer meals that the deceased loved so that everything is welcoming and home-like. You may also have a potluck dinner. This involves guests bringing food that they would like to share. This allows everyone to feel a sense of belonging and being in a group.
- Music: Listen to emotional background songs. These can be your favourite melodies or those that remind you of good times. You can list your best melodies, reminding you about the departed.
- Open mic: Have the visitors move up and talk about remembrances and anecdotes. Everybody gets to interact and vent their grief. It’s a great way to pay tribute to the departed and grant space for family members/colleagues to vent.
- Tribute video: This will be presented at the reception, honouring the life that has been lived. Use photographs, video clips, and messages from friends and family.
- Keepsakes: Leave the guests with a keepsake or a present to take with them. They will remember the person. You can give them a small picture album or something personal to symbolise who they were.
Conduct a special memorial service
A memorial service is a unique form of remembering your loved one. A memorial service is neither cremation nor a burial and may be delayed, unlike a funeral.
Another aspect of what to do after a funeral is reaching out to those who have also experienced a loss. Sharing your feelings about what to do after a funeral can help ease your burden.
In the days following what to do after a funeral, consider documenting your memories. This documentation can serve as a therapeutic process, helping you manage your grief.
Remembering their life
The memorial service is a personal and private event. They offer time for loved ones to sit back and acknowledge how the deceased person touched their lives.
Creating a memorial as in a physical object, such as memorial ash jewellery that will last forever will help you keep your loved one close to your heart. Memorials whether physical objects or not can provide help coping with grief and celebrate the life of the deceased. Consider adding custom touches that reflect the distinct personality of the deceased such as:
- Personalised adornments: Embrace colours, symbols, or significant photographs in the deceased’s life. For example, if the departed preferred gardening, you can use flower design or gardening accessories.
- Guest speakers: Invite the closest relatives or friends over and have them share experiences and memories. They can trigger a series of stories regarding the deceased and their personality and heritage.
- Fun activities: Let all of them perform whatever the deceased enjoyed, such as a group activity or having dinner together. All of them feel a sense of connection and something for which they share a common working goal.
Connecting with support groups about what to do after a funeral can also offer valuable insights and comfort. Many people benefit from discussing their experiences.
Hold happy memories with memorial ideas
Having a memorial that will last forever will help you keep your loved one close to your heart. Memorials give you a place to process your grief and celebrate the life of the person who died. The following are some loving ways to remind you of your loved one:
- Memorial bench: You might also want to install a bench in a public place or site where the deceased regularly visits. The bench would be a private seating area where they can sit and reminisce about memories. Most parks and gardens also provide memorial benches where you can leave your memorial.
- Online memorial: Build a website where family and friends can leave remembrance, pictures, and testimonials. This could also enable event organisation or initiate fundraising for the issues that interest the person being remembered. Pages specifically established to recall people can be a location for ongoing remembrance & conversation.
- Memorial tree or garden: This is a lovely way to remember the departed. A living reminder of the deceased will continue to grow and flower. That reminds you that they are still a part of your life. Select a vital tree, perhaps one that they used to adore or one that represents them.
- Memorial jewellery: You can wear one that contains your loved one’s ashes. It is a unique way of keeping them near you. Some artists design unique keepsakes which you can use to remember your loved one.
Arrange the stone memorial aftercare
Maintenance should also be considered after a stone memorial has been constructed. Memorials should be kept to look attractive and remain meaningful. Either take care of the memorial yourself or include family members and friends. Depending on what material the memorial is made of, minimal maintenance might be required.
Care for the late person’s property after the funeral
After the funeral, dealing with the deceased’s estate might be daunting. It requires careful and tactful handling. The reading of the will, we normally indicate who is the executor.
Learning about the role of the executor
The administrator or the executor is responsible for handling the affairs of the deceased’s money. They clear any outgoings and debts before distribution of the assets. The deceased person would have typically nominated a person as an executor when they wrote the will.
It is the responsibility of this person (the executor) to contact the probate office or a solicitor to see if probate is required.
Look at the will for details
Reading the will is important as it indicates the deceased’s intent regarding how his/her property will be dealt with. It will be simpler during times of grief if there is a will. However, if there is a will, but it is not clear in certain parts, or someone does not agree with it, you would then need the advice of a solicitor.
Apply for probate if need be
If the estate is substantial, you will have to apply for probate. Probate allows the executor to take control of the estate. You apply to the Probate Registry, and the process may differ according to the area.
When probate is usually required
- Sole ownership of assets:
If the deceased person held assets (like property, bank accounts, investments) solely in their name, probate is usually needed to access and transfer those assets to the beneficiaries. - Valuation of assets:
Each bank and financial institution has its own rules and thresholds for when they require a grant of probate before releasing funds or transferring assets. - Dealing with the estate:
Probate gives the executor or administrator the legal right to deal with the deceased person’s estate, which includes paying debts, taxes, and distributing assets to beneficiaries.
When probate may not be required
- Jointly owned assets: If the deceased person owned assets jointly with someone else (like a spouse or partner), the surviving owner may not need probate to access those assets.
- Small estates: If the estate is relatively small, with minimal assets or debts, probate may not be necessary.
- Insolvency: If the estate is insolvent (meaning there are insufficient assets to cover debts and taxes), probate may not be required.
Certain life insurance policies and pension benefits Some life insurance policies and pension benefits may be paid directly to beneficiaries without the need for probate.
Main role of an executor
- Locate and secure assets: The executor must find and keep safe all the assets of the deceased. This includes property, bank accounts, investments, and personal belongings.
- Apply for probate: If necessary, the executor must apply for a grant of probate to legally authorise them to deal with the deceased’s assets.
- Identify and pay debts: The executor is responsible for identifying and paying any debts owed by the deceased, including outstanding bills, loans, and taxes.
- Pay taxes: The executor must ensure that all outstanding taxes, such as income tax, capital gains tax, and inheritance tax, are paid.
- Manage and sell assets: The executor may need to manage or sell assets, such as property or investments, to generate funds to pay debts and distribute the estate.
- Distribute assets: Once all debts and taxes are paid, the executor must distribute the remaining assets to the beneficiaries named in the will, according to the instructions in the will.
- Keep records: The executor must keep accurate records of all transactions and communications related to the estate.
- Cooperate with beneficiaries: The executor must communicate with and cooperate with the beneficiaries throughout the process.
- Arrange funeral: Executors are usually responsible for arranging the funeral of the deceased, following any instructions in the will.
- Secure property: The executor needs to ensure that the deceased’s property is secured as soon as possible after death.
Report to HMRC: The executor must report the estate value, income, and tax liability to HM Revenue and Customs.
No will
If the departed passed away intestate, which means they didn’t leave any will, then a family member or friend could be an executor and apply for ‘Letters of Administration’. Family members or other beneficiaries would apply to the Probate Registry as an executor for Letters of Administration in England, Wales, and Northern Ireland.
For Scotland an executor is named an Executor-dative. The executor-dative must obtain a ‘Bond of Caution’ from an insurance company. ‘A Bond of Caution’ is a guarantee created by the insurance company that the executor will distribute all the assets of the estate inline with the rules of intestacy. The ‘Bond of Caution’ should be logged at the Sheriff Court with inventory form C1 and the relative form C5.
A ‘Bond of Caution’ is not always needed such as if a surviving spouse or civil partner ‘Prior Rights’ claim the estate ,or there are no surviving children or descendants of predeceasing children.
C1 & C5 forms in Scotland
Bond of Caution detailed explanation
Alternatively, if the deceased had no living relatives to act as an executor the court would appoint an administrator, and the estate would go to the Crown, in other words the Government.
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What do you do with the car of a deceased person?
You can use the government Tell Us Once service that someone has passed away. Unfortunately this service is not available in all areas.
If the service is not available you will have to write to the DVLA in Swansea:
DVLA
Swansea
SA99 1AB
On this letter state:
- The deceased name, address and date of birth
- Your relationship to the deceased
- The date the deceased died
Importantly, you will have to inform the DVLA separately if you:
- Keep the vehicle
- Sell the vehicle
- Retain a personal number plate – This needs to be done before you sell the vehicle
If you need further guidance telephone the DVLA 0300 083 0090 or use their webchat facility.
What happens to the mortgage when someone dies?
There are different rules for joint mortgage or sole owner and beneficiary. Basically, if a homeowner dies, their mortgage does not vanish, there is still a mortgage after death.
If a property is to be inherited but with an outstanding mortgage i.e. mortgage inheritance, the mortgage company will either require the mortgage to be paid immediately, or ask the person who inherits the property to take over the mortgage. To take over the mortgage would mean applying to see if they are eligible.
If the person is not eligible, or does not want to take over the mortgage, the property would have to be sold to pay off the mortgage. If you or a family are in line to inherit a property, contact the mortgage company of the deceased and decide the best course of action suitable to you and or the family. You may wish to employ the services of a conveyancing solicitor or probate solicitor. Details of suitable solicitors can be found at the Law Society.
What happens if a leaseholder dies?
A lease can be transferred after the death of the leaseholder. The lease becomes part of the deceased’s estate and is transferred to their beneficiaries through a will or intestacy laws if there is no will. The transfer of the lease involves a process called “leasehold conveyancing”.
If the lease is near the end of term the beneficiaries can apply to extend the lease or likewise cancel the lease. In some cases the landlord may agree to surrender the lease due to the death of the lease holder.
You should be aware that any beneficiaries are responsible for any outstanding debts related to the lease, such as service charges and/or rent arrears.
Notifying relevant institutions of a death
Some of the various institutions to inform of the death:
- Employers: Informing the employer of the employee’s death will decide if and when death benefits are payable.
- Insurance: You have to inform insurance companies to make a claim or change your policy.
- Banks/Credit cards/Loans and financial institutions: Transfer account ownership or close the accounts.
- Mortgage/Lease: Inform the mortgage/lease company, and follow the procedure to see if the mortgage/lease can be transferred or cancelled.
- Bonds/ISA/Investments: Contact the relevant organisation to see if they can be transferred or closed.
- Utility companies: Inform the utility companies to transfer or cancel the account.
- Library: Return any books, audio books and cancel the account.
- Local clubs: For example, bingo, football, dancing, snooker, etc.
- Newsagent: Cancel or transfer delivered newspapers.
- Sky TV, Netflix, Amazon: Cancel any media accounts, or transfer membership if possible.
- Mobile telephone: Cancel contract and return mobile telephone if on contract.
- Online magazines: Transfer membership or cancel any subscriptions.
How do you search for bank accounts/ISA of a dead person?
You can search online databases such as My Lost Account.
You could also contact GOV.UK Probate service to see if there are details of bank accounts/IAS etc on any wills.
What happens to social media when someone dies?
Every social media platform has a process for what to do after a funeral. You do not have to do anything, some platforms will automatically delete accounts after a period of inactivity.
If you wish to have information deleted you can contact different platforms where the deceased may have had an account and request for the account to be deleted. You will need to provide proof of death and your relationship to the deceased.
Steps to take on popular social media platforms
Memorialising
You can memorialise the account on specific platforms. This is a place where family and friends can share memories.
Deletion
You can also request on some platforms to have the account deleted.
In either case you will have to provide proof of the death, such as a death certificate or link to an obituary. It is also advisable to keep a backup where ever possible of the media on the deceased person’s account before it is deleted.
The main most popular social media accounts are listed below, for accounts not listed search on your web browser for “ Delete a deceased persons account on ……” Insert social media platform on …….
Facebook automatically memorialise an account once they are made aware of the account holder’s death.
Please note Facebook will not deactivate an account after a death unless the deceased had requested this during their time on Facebook.
Facebook also offer a ‘legacy contact‘ feature whereby if a person nominates another person during their lifetime to be a Legacy contact they can then:
- Pin a tribute post to the deceased profile.
- Change the profile picture and cover photo.
- Accept friend requests
Legacy contacts cannot remove or modify posts, read messenger messages, or manage friends. These limitations are to respect the deceased’s memory.
Twitter can delete an account
You can request that Instagram memorialise the account of a deceased person. You can also request that the account be removed from Instagram if you are a close family member.
Pinterest can delete a deceased person account
YouTube
YouTube can delete an account
Linkedin offer memorialisation or deletion
If you can access the deceased persons mobile telephone you can simply open WhatsApp. Go to Settings > Account > Delete My Account.
You can also contact WhatsApp support and request that the account be disabled or deleted, providing proof of death. Go to Settings > Help > Contact Us or visit the WhatsApp support website
Snapchat
Snapchat can delete an account. However you will need the account’s username and password.
Go to the profile, tap the gear icon for Settings, scroll down to Account Actions>Delete Account. You can also contact Snapchat support.
Moreover, honouring your loved one through activities such as social media is a profound part of what to do after a funeral. Online activities can help keep their memory alive.
Digital Legacy
Leaving a digital legacy can greatly help your loved ones or person sorting out your estate. Apart from social media there are of course many other digital accounts such as email, photo sharing, music, auction sites such as ebay, online shopping such as Amazon etc.
Check whether you are eligible for bereavement benefits
If your partner or civil partner died, you may qualify for the Bereavement Support Payment. Make yourself knowledgeable about the provisions of the terms of the condition of eligibility and the claiming process.
You must claim the full amount within three months of death. You can claim the full 21 months from the date of death but at a lower rate. Researching the payable benefits will give you cash when needed in bad times.
Get assistance from grief and loss counselling
What to do after a funeral also involves seeking professional support if needed. Therapy and counselling can provide a safe space to express your emotions. Remember that honouring and celebrating a life can also help in healing, and often plays an important part of what to do after a death.
There are also various ways that grief occurs, and it is a good practice to seek the advice of a professional. Grief counselling provides one with a space where they can feel and process the hurt of loss. Find local grief support groups or counselling centres. Most provide workshops and materials to help you through your grief.
Bear in mind that what to do after a funeral is a personal journey. Every individual copes differently with loss, and it’s essential to find what resonates with you
A celebration of life ceremony
Celebrating their life can also help in healing. Rather than mourning, a celebration of life ceremony can be conducted. This activity can involve stories, music of choice, and participating in activities that the person enjoyed. It is a time of laughter, memory, and sharing with loved ones. This celebration does not need to be held at an expensive location, with expensive catering. You could consider holding a celebration at home for close friends and family.
Celebrate the deceased’s date of death
This is a unique way of remembering them each year. You can do it as a time to reminisce, remember, or both, as you wish.
Ways to remember
- Visit their grave: Visit the grave with the flowers or other items to remember them.
- Letter: Write one to your love, describing what you have done and felt when they are no longer around.
- Commemoration ceremony: Host one with your loved ones and family to honour them and light up a candle in their memory.
- Favourite song: Play the deceased’s favourite song to remember.
- Looking through photographs: Take time recalling as you browse through old images, letting you remember the memories.
- Dinner party: Host a dinner party with the foods they enjoyed. Invite the people they loved, the family and the friends To sit down and share stories and reminisce with you is often a thoughtful thing do after the funeral.
- Lighting a candle: Lite a candle in their honour could be a peaceful moment to reflect on them.
Things to bear in mind
It is difficult, and it is also an emotional process knowing what to do after a funeral. You must allow yourself to grieve and also do a few things to honour your loved one. From planning memorial events to dividing up what they had, every step of the way can feel daunting. However, if you have family you don’t have to face it by yourself. Lean on those who care about you, and seek professional help if needed.
Don’t forget to honour the departed’s life in the way that matters most to you. Whether memorials, commemorations, or personalised reflections, holding them in your mind can bring comfort and help you navigate through healing as you continue.
Ultimately, what to do after a funeral is about finding peace and moving forward while cherishing the memories of those we have lost.
